Love Means Love: Same-sex Relationships and the Bible

July 10, 2020

Last month saw the publication of Love Means Love by David Runcorn. Prior to publication we sent out review copies of the book to a number of individuals who we thought would be interested in reading it. In this blog post you will find a review from Emma, a supporter of the Campaign for Equal Marriage in the Church of England. She tells us what it was like going through 7+ years of denial, and how David's book is a 'welcome addition to ongoing conversations in the Church'.

Review of Love Means Love by David Runcorn

Having come from an Evangelical background, realising my own sexuality, going on a 7+ year journey from denial, through active conversion attempts, to self-acceptance, I have already read almost every book available on all ‘sides’. I remember beginning this journey fearfully, asking the questions, seeking the answers. Now reading this from a totally different point in my life, in a same-sex marriage, it’s a delight to read another important perspective and insight.

Every affirming and inclusive publication is a welcome addition to ongoing conversations in the Church and this is an excellent boost to the collection. David shows that you don’t have to choose between respecting the Bible and being true to your lived experience. There is deep compassion and empathy woven throughout David’s writing that is sadly lacking in many church leaders and church goers. We all need intimacy and family; it’s a shame that thoroughly researched books like this are necessary to justify those needs for gay and lesbian Christians.

He humanises and places value upon those of non-heterosexual sexualities, acknowldeging that their commitment to both God and their partner is to be celebrated and honoured:

‘It should not really need saying that those in committed same sex relationships aspire to the same Christian standards of loving faithfulness and holiness of life as heterosexual relationships.’

To have someone actually understand us and defend us at length is refreshing. In the eleventh chapter, ‘One flesh’, David’s descriptions of marriage are beautiful. I feel so seen as someone in a same-sex marriage and it made me quite emotional.

Clearly a lot of study has gone into this work. David’s understanding of the historical texts, context, translations and meanings has been carefully compiled into a compelling read suitable for all. He draws on the preceding work of other well-known authors and theologians, bringing them all together to form a strong case. The information has been presented in such a way that it is accessible for those newly questioning their sexuality in light of their faith, as well as those who are further along on their journey and seeking new layers of wisdom to build upon their existing knowledge. In every chapter I have made annotations along the lines of, ‘I never thought of that!’ or “Wow! I love this!”

My favourite section of the book was Chapter 7, ‘Romans and the wrath of God’. Having not read many theological books for a while, especially not on such a personal issue, I was apprehensive about the potential content. I was pleasantly surprised however, as David so graciously explores a passage of scripture which has been used against many of us. When I read it afresh I could see the meaning plainly, yet many still cling to the interpretations they have always been taught. He explains how to read and understand the text and its meaning, logically setting it out, with a positive and hopeful conclusion. After becoming exhausted trying to explain this passage to other people over the years, David has laid it out eloquently and conclusively. An important distinction he makes is the difference between abnormal and atypical. What is normal to ourselves may be atypical to the majority, which causes ‘othering’, not only in terms of sexuality, but also gender, race, or disability.

I have enjoyed learning many new things about fairly recent history and biblical times. It has opened my eyes even more. David has referred to and quoted several well respected writers for whom this is a specialist topic. The extensive bibliography and references provide me with many avenues of further reading.

David has done an excellent job of dealing with the story of Sodom. He shows what a devastating effect its misinterpretation has had on generations of lesbian and gay people, causing extremely damaging secrecy and unthinkable harm. How anybody can read it as condemnation for homosexuality, rather than immense dishonour and inhospitality for male guests, is beyond me. As David says, “This story, and its interpretation, serves as a serious warning as to how disastrously we can and do sometimes misread ancient Bible texts.”

One of my favourite sentences in this book is “Until gay people and their relationships enjoy the same sustained support, welcome and resources that heterosexual relationsips do, without the hostility, exclusion and violence they have long endured, any comparison with the presumed ‘success’ of heterosexual unions is meaningless.”

As the Church of England comes to a potentially pivotal time, I hope that all those involved in the Living in Love and Faith discussions will be able to benefit from reading this book. It is a timely, much-needed exposition. David has put forth well-articulated and much needed arguments and brought us to a hopeful conclusion. For anyone seeking a comprehensive, readable analysis and commentary, I highly recommend Love Means Love.

Emma grew up attending an evangelical Anglican Church in London with her family but found her own faith as a teenager at a Pentecostal church. After realising her sexuality soon afterwards, she spent 7 years trying to become straight. During this time, she volunteered for churches, charities and ministries. She spent the time during a short illness to read diverse books and this culminated in self-acceptance of her sexuality. Two years later, she met Abigail, to whom she is now married. It was important for them to marry in a church and they support the Campaign for Equal Marriage in the Church of England. They now live in Kent and mentor people through times of questioning their sexuality and faith.