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Misconceptions about Ministry Mums and Breaking the Mould
In her upcoming book Breaking the Mould Jules Middleton brings together stories of ministry mums from all different walks of life. From Pentecostal to Methodist, single mums to adopters, RAF chaplains to disability advisors and everything in-between – Jules maps the highs and lows ministry mums may face as they seek to ‘break the mould’ and challenge the ‘shoulds’ and stereotypes that surround both roles. In this first part of our Q&A with her she tells us why she chose to write the book and what misconceptions they are about ministry mums.
Jules Middleton is one of hundreds of mums in ministry across the Church today, and yet against a predominantly white, middle-class, male-dominated history, they can still be something of an anomaly. In her upcoming book Breaking the Mould she brings together stories of ministry mums from all different walks of life. From Pentecostal to Methodist, single mums to adopters, RAF chaplains to disability advisors and everything in-between – Jules maps the highs and lows ministry mums may face as they seek to ‘break the mould’ and challenge the ‘shoulds’ and stereotypes that surround both roles. In this first part of our Q&A with her she tells us why she chose to write the book and what misconceptions they are about ministry mums.
1. What is the most common misconception about ministry mums?
I’m not sure there is a ‘most’ common one as there are quite a lot! For example, some people think that children will 'get in the way’ of ministry whereas many of us have experienced them actually enhancing it. One misconception that I know comes up time and again is that 'it is impossible to be a mum and a minister at the same time', especially if you are in a full time role. It’s so frustrating when I hear that because there are plenty of us doing it already, so clearly it isn’t impossible! Though of course the balance of working full time with parenthood is tricky and can be difficult, in many ways ministry has flexibility that other jobs don’t have. It’s not 9-5 for a start, so I can juggle my hours around in order to do a school run, or go to something with the kids during school holidays if I want, and then catch up in the evening or at the weekend. I know many ministry mums find this flexibility a real blessing.
2. What motivated you to write this book, and why now?
Right from when I first began exploring my calling to ministry I came up against challenges due to my gender and the fact that I have kids. Although the church is gradually changing there are still a lot of male dominated attitudes around and assumptions around what women and indeed mothers should or shouldn't be doing in the church. What I really needed to see back then was women who were managing the juggle and who I could talk to, but there were so few. In fact in those early stages the only ministry mum I could find nearby was Revd Sophie Jelley, now soon to be Bishop of Doncaster. Meeting her and seeing that she was managing to be a hands on mum to young children as well as a full time vicar was so encouraging.
Since then I've been writing about my experiences as a minister, from exploring vocation through training and post ordination, and through that I’ve had other women contact me asking for advice and support or questions about how to juggle it all. So it seemed that there was a real need for something more to be written. Once I was ordained I joined an online clergy mums group which was literally a Godsend - a wonderful bunch of ministry mums offering support and advice to each other on anything from breast feeding in a cassock to liturgical queries! It was this wonderful group that really cemented the idea that every ministry mum should have access to that kind of support and so the idea for the book grew from there.
Check back on our blog next week for part 2!
Jules is one of hundreds of mums in ministry across the Church today, and yet against a predominantly white, middle-class, male-dominated history, they can still be something of an anomaly. Bringing together stories from all different walks of life - Pentecostal to Methodist, single mums to adopters, RAF chaplains to disability advisors and everything in-between – Jules maps the highs and lows ministry mums may face as they seek to ‘break the mould’ and challenge the ‘shoulds’ and stereotypes that surround both roles.
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